It's the end of the world
by Supersilver46
Summary: ...As we know it. Harry Potter is a teacher at Hogwarts who's pay is severely lacking, his best friend is trying to hook him up with his sister, and he has to deal with Malfoy on a daily basis. Add one testy Hermione Granger who's fiercely protective of her daughter to the mix, and you've got a concoction ready to explode.
1. Chapter 1

Harry still remembered the Halloween at Hogwarts that had changed everything. The day had started out well enough, thankfully he hadn't had to deal with Snape. Then they had gone to Charms, and everything went downhill from there. On that day, the class was learning the levitation charm, and Ron was struggling to cast the spell.

" _Wingardium Leviosa!_ " Ron had shouted, pointing his wand at the feather. Unfortunately, the feather hadn't had budged an inch. Hermione had seen Ron's failure, and in a condescending tone she had said,

" _You're saying it wrong. It's Wing-gar-dium Levi-o-sa, make the 'gar' nice and long._ "

Naturally, Ron had been rather angry once class had ended.

" _She's such a nightmare!"_ Ron had shouted as he and Harry left the classroom, " _No wonder she doesn't have any friends."_

Hermione brushed past them and rushed down the stairs.

" _I think she heard you."_ He had said.

They had later learned from Lavender that Hermione was in the bathroom crying. Ron had felt bad about it, but he didn't go to apologize. Then Quirrell had rushed into the Great Hall screaming,

" _Troll! Troll in the dungeons!"_

Before he collapsed on the spot. Everyone had started to panic, and the professors had ordered the perfects to bring the students to their dorms. That was when Harry and Ron realized that Hermione was missing. They figured she was in the bathroom, and they had snuck away from Percy to go warn her about the troll. They'd ended up accidentally locking her in the bathroom with the troll, but they immediately rushed back in...

...to find her lying on the ground. Her limbs were twisted in an unnatural position, and blood pooled around her body, soaking her long frizzy hair.

" _Is she dead?_ " Ron had whimpered as he stared at her body, he was moments away from breaking out into a scream when the professors had arrived. The professors had dispatched the troll in a few minutes, before they turned their attention on Harry and Ron.

" _What were you thinking?!_ " Professor McGonagall had shouted at Harry and Ron, " _You could have been killed!"_

" _W-we were trying to warn Hermione about the troll,"_ Harry had stuttered, _"We didn't want her to get hurt."_

" _Well you failed in that regard_ ," Snape had said, " _Luckily she's still breathing_."

" _Why didn't you try to find one of us Mr. Potter?"_ Professor Flitwick had asked _, "Or have a perfect help you rescue Ms. Granger?"_

" _We didn't think that we'd get to Hermione in time if we did that."_ Harry had said _._

" _So, you decided to fight a troll on your own?"_ Professor Snape frowned _, "Did you think that you were experienced enough to handle a troll?"_

" _No we-"_

" _Did you even realize that a troll can kill even the most experienced wizard in minutes?"_ Snape continued _, "You are first years, how did you expect to defeat a troll? If we had been even a minute late, the three of you would have been killed."_

" _I-"_

" _That's enough Severus."_ Dumbledore had calmly said. Snape scowled and fell silent, Dumbledore looked at Harry and lowered his voice, " _Harry do you know why Ms. Granger was in the bathroom when she should have been in the Great Hall?"_

" _I-"_ Harry had looked at Ron, who was biting his lip. Ron subtly shook his head, and Harry internally debated with himself before he came to a decision. _"N-no I don't know."_

Dumbledore had sighed.

" _Harry, look me in the eyes,"_ Dumbledore had said. Harry had shuffled his feet before he did what Dumbledore said _, "Did you or Mr. Weasley have anything to do with why Ms. Granger was in the bathroom?"_

" _No, we had nothing to do with it."_ Harry had lied. Dumbledore's face fell.

" _Well we've had your side of the story Mr. Potter, we'll just have to hear Ms. Granger's once she recovers,"_ Snape had said, _"I imagine that it will differ from yours."_

" _Ms. McGonagall, if you would escort Mr. Potter and Mr. Weasley to their dorm,"_ Dumbledore had said, _"We will have to contact Ms. Granger's family about her injuries."_

" _I understand,"_ Professor McGonagall had said before she turned to Ron and Harry _, "Come with me you two."_

As he and Ron followed the professor back to their dorm, Harry felt like he was going to throw up.

Eventually, the three of them reached the Gryffindor dorms. Professor McGonagall said the password to the Fat Lady, unlocking the entrance to the dorms _._

" _I suppose this incident can serve as a lesson as well,"_ Professor McGonagall had said _, "Mr. Potter you need to learn to let the adults handle situations, you are not invincible and as you unfortunately learned today, you are not infallible."_

" _I don't want you to put yourself or anyone else in danger ever again, is that clear?"_

" _...Yes professor." Harry had said._

Harry sighed as he apparated to a specific neighborhood. After that Halloween everyone in the castle had known about Hermione's near-death experience, and they knew about Harry and Ron's involvement in the situation. Almost immediately the two of them had ended up being ostracized by about half of the students attending Hogwarts. Other students pointed out that Hermione wasn't entirely blameless in the situation, but they also weren't going to leap to Harry or Ron's defense. The professor's attitude towards Harry and Ron had changed drastically, from Professor McGonagall's frosty anger, to Professor Flitwick's silent disappointment, even Snape had changed. Instead of deliberately trying to make their lives miserable, he treated the two of them like they barely existed.

The only one who seemed to be on their side was Professor Quirrell, but soon after Harry's disastrous first quidditch match, which had ended up with Harry in the infirmary for about a week, Professor Quirrell had mysteriously disappeared. There had been some rumors that had floated around about that. One rumor was that the professor had been killed because he was secretly a Death Eater in disguise, the other was that he had simply succumbed to the 'curse' that affected anyone who taught Defense against the Dark Arts. He'd been replaced by Remus Lupin, who was an old friend of Harry's father, and he'd also been the one professor that Harry had liked the most.

The years at Hogwarts had passed by relatively quickly. Ron's pet rat had been killed by Filch's cat, which had put Ron in a bad mood for most of their second year. Sirius Black and a group of death eaters had been executed during their third year, the Triwizard tournament had been hosted at Hogwarts during their fourth year, and Harry had somehow gotten roped into competing. He had ended up failing all of the challenges, and Cedric had ended up winning a substituted trophy after Dumbledore had accidentally broken it somehow. The auror who had shown up to watch the tournament had been rather angry when that had happened.

Dumbledore and Snape had resigned during their fifth year, Barty Crouch Jr. had gotten captured after he attacked a group of muggleborns during their sixth year, and Harry and Ron had graduated during their seventh year. Ron had gone on to get a stable job at the ministry, while Harry had decided to become a teacher at Hogwarts.

...And now here he was. Harry sighed (he'd been doing that often since he had become a teacher) as he walked up to the door of the house he was looking for. He pressed down on the doorbell and stepped back. The door swung open to reveal the mother of the girl he was looking for.

"Hello Ms. Granger," He said, "Is your daughter home?"

"Who are you again?" Granger asked.

"I'm Harry Potter, we went to school toget-"

"Oh, now I remember you."

Granger immediately shut the door on him and locked it tight.

…. Well at least she hadn't hexed him like she had back when he had asked her to go to the yule ball with him. That was progress, right?


	2. Chapter 2

"Hahahaha!" Ron laughed like a madman as he, Harry, and Neville sat in a pub. The other patrons in the pub gave the three of them odd looks as Ron continued to laugh. Normally, Harry would have been a bit concerned about gaining unwanted attention, but tonight he was too drunk to care.

"So, she just shut the door on you?" Neville asked, "What happened after that?"

" _Ms. Granger I need to talk to your daughter!"_ Harry had shouted _, "Will you please open the door?!"_

 _Hermione didn't answer him, so he pressed his ear against the door to see if he could hear anything._

" _Who's the guy yelling outside mom?"_ Harry heard someone ask Hermione.

" _He's no one important Eloise,"_ Hermione said _, "If we ignore him he'll go away."_

" _You know I can hear you right?!"_ Harry had shouted.

" _I don't care!"_

" _Ms. Granger I have something very important to tell your daughter,"_ Harry said _, "And I know you know that she needs to know what I'm going to tell her!"_

" _Go away!" Hermione shouted._

" _If you're going to be so stubborn, I'll wait here then!"_ Harry shouted.

" _If you don't leave right now, I'll call the police!"_ Hermione shouted.

" _Why? I haven't done anything illegal!"_

Harry heard the loud sirens of police cars that sounded like they were getting closer. He sighed, getting arrested wasn't something he was looking forward to, and it'd only complicate matters later. Harry apparated back to Hogwarts where he had decided to come up with a different strategy...

...He still hadn't come up with a decent plan, and now he was sitting here trying to drink his frustration away. Harry slammed the mug of beer he'd been drink on the counter and called out to the bartender for another glass.

"Are you sure you should be drinking Harry?" Neville asked as he watched Harry gulp down the alcohol, "I don't think getting drunk is going to solve your problems."

" *Hic* Shutup Neville!" Harry slurred, "I'm a reshponisble adult who knows what he's doing!"

"You don't look responsible from where I'm sitting..."

"God my life shucks!" Harry shouted as he slammed his head on the table, "I never knew that being a teacher would be sho hard, I think I'm starting to undershtand what shnape went through!"

"You know what you need Harry?!" Ron shouted, "A woman to help you put your mind at ease, how about you date my sister?"

"Ron I'm drunk, not shtupid!" Harry shouted, "You know that Ginny and I don't get along well, you remember the Yule Ball right?"

"How could I forget?" Ron crackled, "You were so nervous that you ended up puking all over her dress, the look on her face was priceless!"

"Yeah, laugh it up Mr. Ministry," Harry said, "Let'sh not forget the fact that you showed up to the ball in a dressh!"

"That was because Granger turned my clothes into a dress when I tried to ask her to go to the ball with me!" Ron shouted, "And she was only pissed because _you_ tried to ask her out!"

"Anyway, you're also a lonely bachelor like me," Harry said, "So it'sh not like you've got room to talk!"

"Goddamnit you're right!" Ron shouted, "How the hell am I still a bachelor, I'm so good looking!"

The bartender chuckled at this as he wiped down one of the glasses. Neville covered his mouth to stop himself from smirking.

"Anyway Harry, why don't you try a different approach?" Neville said as he got his facial features under control.

"A different approach?" Harry parroted.

"Instead of going through Hermione, why don't you go through her daughter?" Neville asked, "I'm sure you can catch her alone when Hermione isn't around."

"I guessh I could go to Hermione'sh daughter'sh shchool..." Harry said, "Yeah...that could actually work!"

"Wow Neville, you can up with pretty good ideas!" Ron shouted, "Three cheers for the traitor that left all of us bachelors in the dust!"

…..

"Ugh..." Harry rubbed his temples as he stood at the entrance to Hermione's daughter's school. "I shouldn't have gone out to drink last night..."

Harry walked into the building and walked into the principal's office, which was thankfully near the entrance. A blond woman sat behind a desk as she idly blew a pink bubble while she was working on...whatever she was working on.

"Excuse me," Harry said, "Can I speak to the principal?"

"I don't know, can you?" The woman said.

"...that's why I'm asking you." Harry said, "I need to talk to the principal about a student who goes to this school, her name is Eloise and-"

"Oh you're looking for _her_ ," The woman frowned, "Did she do something to upset you?"

"I-"

"Well then I'll call her up here," The woman said as she grabbed the phone on her desk, "Eloise Granger, please report to the principal's office!"

The woman then placed the phone back on her desk and smiled at Harry, "She'll be here soon, in the meantime..."

The woman handed him a white card that had a phone number on it.

"You can give me a call, it's a shame that a handsome man like you isn't married to anyone."

"How did you know I wasn't married?" Harry asked before he realized that she'd been looking at his hand during the entire conversation. "Oh, so that's how you knew..."

The blond woman winked at him, which made him shiver.

"We can set up a date when I have free time," The woman said, "Wouldn't that be wonderful?"

"I-"

"Yeah?" Someone said as they walked into the office, "What'd you need me here for?"

Harry turned to see that a girl with dark hair tied into a messy ponytail had walked into the room. She was wearing the usual uniform he had seen some of the girls wear when he had first arrived on the school grounds. Recognition flashed in the girl's eyes as she stared at Harry, and something nagged him in the back of his mind.

"The least you could do is show some respect you brat," The blond woman growled, "There's someone here to see you, his name is..."

She blinked and turned to face Harry, "What's your name?"

 _You were planning on taking me out on a date before you even knew my name?_ Harry thought to himself.

"My name is Harry Potter," Harry said.

"Harry came all the way here to see you Ms. Granger," The blond woman said, "I think he'll finally be the one to get you expelled from this school and I'll be free of you and your mother!"

"Uh-huh, you said that the last time too," Eloise said, "And how did that turn out again?"

"Ugh!" The blond woman ground her teeth as she turned away from Eloise to look at Harry, "Mr. Potter do you have any evidence to get her expelled?"

"I don't want to get her expelled, I just wanted to talk to her," Harry said, "Could you leave us alone for a few moments?"

"I can't do that I-"

"Please? If you leave, I might go out on a date with you." Harry lied.

"Fine, but you better be on your best behavior Ms. Granger!" The blond woman said as she left her desk and entered a room in the back of the hallway that was behind her desk. Harry waited until the door was shut before he cast a spell to lock the door.

"So, Ms. Granger we finally get to meet face to face," Harry said as he smiled at the girl. "My name is Harry Potter, I'm a professor at an academy called Hogwarts-"

"You're also the crazy guy that my mom called the cops on," Eloise said, "So I think I'm going to leave..."

"Wait!" Harry shouted as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a rumpled letter, "Before you go, I want you to have this."

"A letter?"

"When you open it things will be a bit clearer," Harry said, "Just don't tell your mother that I gave you that letter."

"Too late for that Mr. Potter," Harry heard the blond woman from earlier say. He blinked in surprise to see that she had gotten out of the room he had locked her in.

"How did you get out of that room?" Harry asked.

The woman smirked and raised a familiar wand into the air, before her entire appearance shifted.

"It turns out that disguise spells are pretty useful," Hermione said, "I guess I know why the Weasley twins loved using it so much."

"Hermione I-"

" _Stupefy_!"


End file.
